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MONOGURUI:(i)

MONOGURUI:(i)

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18. KITTY-GRIMACE

phideyuki(ii): 0. 0. 0. 0. 00. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 00. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 00. 00. 00. 00. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. l0. 0. 00. 00. 0. 0. 00. 0. 0. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 00. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 0. 00. 0. 0. 00. 0. 00. 0. 00. 0. 0. 00. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 0. 00. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 0. 0. 00. 00. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. look i don't know why you keep bothering me. i'm not giving it to you. i'm not. go fuck yourselves. go fuck your fucking selves. i'm not going anywhere. i already left. goodbye ha ha ha.
the mini-carnations: we rely on automatism, did you know that secret? if not for that than nothing else. hä only wakes who casts the world aside.
the circle where the room ends waits in the air patiently above phideyuki(ii), who sits against the white wall in här white with black outline pattern jersey jumper .. semi-opaque patterned stockings with här hands against här buzzed head.
u_623: hey! hey you! what are you doing?
phideyuki(ii): i'm conversing with the mini-carnations.
u_623: mini-carnations don't talk, man.
phideyuki(ii): yes, they do. just not very often.
u_623: right, whatever.
phideyuki(ii): pshkt. gushktvt. putut. yes.
hä smiles.
u_623: do you know who i am? everything's going to be ok.
phideyuki(ii): i don't understand.
u_623: i know, but you will. it's like a pregnant woman.
phideyuki(ii): 0. 00. 00. 0. 0. 0. 00. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0. …
u_623: the mini-carnations lie, dude. it's all they ever do. you can sit around listening to them all you want but it's all lies, all fucking lies.
phideyuki(ii): i know, i don't care.
u_623: you should. what do you think, they're going to take care of you in your old age? they're completely undependable fuckers. one minute prancing around like there's no tomorrow .. then the next, bam!, covering their own fucking asses. they're just using you, you know.
phideyuki(ii): fuck off.
u_623: fine, whatever, you still don't even know who i am so who are you to talk. you can't just wait around. you've got to take action on this one. even if it's fucking somewhat difficult. if you don't i'll never speak to you again.
phideyuki(ii): ok, if that's how it is then that's how it is. but look, it's high stakes.
u_623: yeah, it's high stakes. that's just how it is .. that's how it's going to be.
phideyuki(ii) gets up .. walks around in här stockinged feet for a little while. the mini-carnations bang their heads against the wall in throes of despair but hä ignores them. hä fixes här white jumper a bit closer to här body.
phideyuki(ii): bam bam b-b-b-bam.
oops, bam, hä hits här head just a bit too hard against the wall that time, .. hä smiles childishly, kind of embarrassed. hä pushes här pinkish lips into a big circle.

phideyuki(ii): bam.
u_623: phideyuki(ii)ie, oh phideyuki(ii)ie, cooome baaaaaack.
phideyuki(ii): i saw a girl today who couldn't stop clapping. literally just couldn't stop, .. shaking här head just in fucking constant non-stop routine raptures.
u_623: is that what you want?
phideyuki(ii): no- yes. no. of course not. don't ask me that.
phideyuki(ii) leans back against the wall .. slides down to a sitting position again, knees knocked together. här eyes are dark dark dark .. tired. här eyelids droop shut.

agent-boy (whispering): wake up. wake up phideyuki(ii)
a man in short white short-shorts with black outline .. .. big black buttons black-stubbled hair of poorly shaved legs, .. running up .. down a short white t-shirt the phrase 'drop beats: not chinese vases', leans down over phideyuki(ii)'s ear, large blockish clear plastic glasses covering much of här face, black whiskers. phideyuki(ii) slowly opens här eyes for a moment.
agent-boy: wake up.
phideyuki(ii)'s eyes drop back shut.

phideyuki(ii) gets up from här displaced reverie .. looks around. hä gets to här feet .. mosies on over to the kitchen where the tea is waiting like a faithful servant to be prepared. the cups rattle around in här hand as hä pours some water into the kettle .. turns on the stove. the teakettle sits uneasily on the front burner, quickly moving into everything's just fine territory. phideyuki(ii) pulls a metal box full of teas from the cupboard: mint, mediterranean citrus, lime spice, blackberry, licorice spice, chamomile, rubarb. hä pulls out a packet of the mint .. returns the box to its place. the teakettle begins to tremble .. scream. phideyuki(ii) takes it from the burner .. turns off the stove .. pours the boiling water over the packet of mint tea in the white porcelain cup.
phideyuki(ii): injection.
u_623: what?
phideyuki(ii): they sentenced me to injection.
u_623: no they didn't.
phideyuki(ii): yes, they did. it was so much fun. my tiny little hairs stood on end .. i danced.
u_623: phideyuki(ii)…
phideyuki(ii): it did happen, it did happen, 100 times it happened, .. it happened to you, too, .. it happened to someone else, .. it happened- i know it happened to the one who pretends it couldn't happen. nevermind. i'm going away soon. i'll give it up. they can have it. i don't even want it anymore. i haven't wanted it for a long time now. i'm just going through the motions it puts me through.
u_623: hush little baby. don't you go crying on me now.
phideyuki(ii): are you in favor of imitation or are you in favor of counterfeit?
u_623: don't think about that now.
phideyuki(ii): when else, it's going to come up sooner or later. i say, devoutly, counterfeiting is the height of integrity .. respect. where- we wanted to be bold. it was-.

the unlocked door opens .. u_mitsu .. k_mitsu walk in, guns in hand, .. expressions of determination that indicate the time is now truly at hand for our pathetically noble hero.

k_mitsu: give us the u., punk.
phideyuki(ii) walks to the table on which the u. case rests, sits down, .. holds on tightly with both hands to its handle. här little hairs push just slightly to the right but här mind is centered, focused, .. calmly set on a path for which there is no return .. all bets are off. här knuckles whiten.
phideyuki(ii): never.
the mini-carnations: run away phideyuki(ii). it's not worth it. come with us. the more you resist us the more completely we'll crush you in the end. there's nothing here waiting for you but a bullet through the head.
.. not hearing them, but as if for emphasis, u_mitsu places här clear plastic gun up against phideyuki(ii)'s temple.
u_mitsu: let's see… how's this gonna go phideyuki(ii) are you going to be a good little boy-girl? well? if so the 1st thing you should do is probably let go of that case. do you think this is heroism? everybody thinks so sometimes, but then it goes away. or it doesn't. do you know how hä used to talk people out of it? i wasn't, i didn't say anything about it, i wasn't even thinking about it. i was just kind of depressed .. i told här .. hä was trying to help. either hä was just covering här bets or perhaps hä really (.. this seems most likely) perhaps hä was really pretty much just as much at least talking to härself, trying to convince härself, too. hä said "ok, it's your decision if you want to do it," just business-like, "but," so hä goes on, "but ill just need some information from you first, real quick, just, you know, for the taking care of your affairs afterward." .. so hä just ran through this list of questions one after the other, real matter-of-fact-like, stuff like "ok, who do want to be the one to tell your daughter?" "how old do you want här to be when hä's told what you did?" "what do want told to här in the meantime?" just like laying this stuff all out like, ok these are just some routine decisions you need to make. but then, in the end, hä ended up doing it anyway. so, i don't know, i'm afraid. sometimes i think we're all just like frightened rats trying to get out, or that was how i thought of it at the time. so i think in a sense the best little compromise we can work out here is for you to just hand over the u. .. for us to leave you alone. later on you'll appreciate the delights of it.
k_mitsu: woa, woa. you guys are both a couple of wack-jobs, you know that. intrepid .. brilliant, but, yeah, fucking wack-jobs nevertheless. i have no fucking clue what you guys are talking about .. fuck-to-fuck neither do you. you're both losing it .. there's no need for this. how 'bout we think of it this way? eh? phideyuki(ii), how 'bout if you just switch sides? you can join up with us .. we'll have fun. you can make funny faces at those other fellows .. make them wish they'd thought of it first. you know, capt. r.'s already dallied with us just a bit anyway. so has paub. .. dr. c.'s practically fucking one of us. so who are you holding out for? unger? you think you couldn't look här in the eyes if you watched här lose? it's not so easy, but it's not so hard as you might think. hä's looking to backstab you at the first opportunity anyway. we all know cowboy .. u_huisa won't back down, .. chaur(00) flat-out doesn't have the guts, but fujima, who cares what hä thinks? hä's clearly off in lala land somewhere.
u_mitsu: you think we'll use it for ill? is that it? consider the god-damn mini-carnations phideyuki(ii). i was more conscious of aspects of its approach before i took this job. now sometimes i forget in the midst of all

this chit-chat .. po-nihilist rhetoric. urg did it fucking brilliantly you know. i'll never take that back. hä almost had them beat. at their own fucking game.
k_mitsu: knock it off u_mitsu. you're talking too much. let här breathe. just back off for a moment.
u_mitsu leans over gracefully but dangerously close to falling over, keeping här gun pointed very directly at the head of phideyuki(ii) who just looks straight ahead at the circle at the end of the room who looks back straight into här eyes .. never blinks.
u_mitsu: yeah, i admire you. but there's a time when you've got to put a rest to it.
phideyuki(ii): 00. 00. 00. .. i don't know what next, maybe 1 or 5 or something. i can't really afford to… something. god-fucking-oh-so-… fucking. fuck fuck fuck.
u_mitsu: please.
phideyuki(ii): ganbarre-yo!
bam! goodnight phideyuki(ii).
a parade is passing by outside. u_mitsu .. k_mitsu had almost forgotten that it is (00) day. men in red, white, .. blue outfits push/pull large floats decorated with mini-carnations .. banners .. young .. pretty boys past the suburban home glass windows reflecting everything they see. the men strain with pretend exhaustion .. smoke the occasional cigarette. everybody is lined up on the sidewalk to watch, in lawnchairs .. the like. nobody refuses to cheer. nobody says, lock'm up for good, the bastards. nobody turns their eyes away in disdain.
a grinder with a white bandage on här head, looking almost a little like kopio, walks behind the next float turning in steady repetition fondly a hand organ. hä puts one foot in front of another slowly .. smiles .. nods at the crowds as hä walks by.
u_mitsu wears a tight clear rubber mid-riff bodysuit ("IF YOU ARE THE ICING: THEN I AM THE CAKE"), clear rubber head-mask, clear rubber samba ice slippers, as hä looks out the window at the parade. k_mitsu sneers with pouty lips which are full .. pinkish behind clear rubber ½-mask. här eyes look down .. här athletic body is dressed tightly in semi-opaque clear rubber bodysuit with the words "DROP BEATS: NOT CHINESE VASES", clear rubber head-mask, smallish clear rubber gloves .. clear ice slippers. in one hand hä holds the shotgun casually.
k_mitsu leans with one shoulder against the white wall.
k_mitsu: oh, why did you-?
circular dimples cover the glass wall .. white tiles run over the floor. här bodysuit shifts over här body as hä turns här head away .. places här hand against här temple, här skin pale .. bloodless. u_mitsu stands absolutely still in clear rubber sambas. k_mitsu touches här lips together .. rocks to the rhythm of lullabies.
phideyuki(ii)'s body lies on the white tile floor limply, red blood contrasting its pale plastic-like mannequin face .. hands, one eye closed with drying blood .. the other staring lifeless vacant epic .. epicentered brilliantly. one hand .. 3 fingers stretch out against the floor as if reaching for some kind of rescue.
k_mitsu: hä escaped.

agent-boy runs rapidly through the crowds of the parade with intense confused expression in här

eyes. här booted feet pound the cement sidewalk violently .. insistent: ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt pk pk pk pk pk pk pk pk pk pk pk pk pk pk, turning down another crowded street. här arms torque powerfully against här t-shirt pushing forcefully against the strain of the closed-off buttons .. här quickly moving legs push against short-shorted legs. här white rubber slippered feet pound the cement violently: ptt pttp ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt ptt…
agent-boy: oh-my-god oh-my-god oh-my-god.

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