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(50)BIG HORROR

(50)BIG HORROR

$12,009.00

(00)

11. CLOSE-GUM

u_mitsu .. k_mitsu walk down the street. u_mitsu holds the u. case with an air of finality. this is the moment in the film where the end music begins .. the image slow slow slows down .. u_mitsu looks back over at k_mitsu just for a moment with the outside edge of här lips just turned up slightly .. then bam! the image goes still .. holds for about 5 seconds before the credits roll. but that's the movie version, where k_mitsu .. u_mitsu (with, in more than uncertain likelihood, k_mitsu played with artistic seriousness by (00) .. u_mitsu by some non-actor cult-figure who nevertheless has gots charisma to burn, someone kind of reclusive .. above-the-fray with a sort of built-in respect-factor: (00) would be a coup) are the heroes of the story. but, .. i'm going to confess this to you outright, right up front, this is the comic book version .. in the comic book version it doesn't end like that. in fact, this moment, this moment of filmic finality, is just another moment like the other moments of this comic book story .. we're going to just move right past it without lingering.
u_mitsu: you know. back there, just for a moment, i thought they had our number. that cowboy kid pulls off quite an imposing figure. it's not often you run up against real-live former revolutionaries.
k_mitsu: yeah. it's not often.
u_mitsu: it's not that i'm smitten or anything, but i kind of admire här. a real man of action that one. with a passion for the mediocre as much as the finer. i mean, we've done alright, but you only get so far with the outsider intellectual stance. there's something to be said for out-of-control bon-fuckism.
k_mitsu: yeah, well. you can't fuck 'em all. we got the goods anyway, that's what matters, no use going down with style in a losing cause.
u_mitsu: yeah, i guess.
u_mitsu .. k_mitsu walk for a bit in silence.
u_mitsu: you know what i always wanted?
k_mitsu: what?
u_mitsu: you know those big fucking dresses where they puff up into big bumps around your body with a huge wig. i always wanted to be able to wear those. white ones with black outlines. .. then big bumps, too, puffing up exaggerated. i would've never got pulled into this line if i could've just got that.
k_mitsu: yeah, yeah, i think that's what everybody wants, ultimately.
suddenly u_mitsu .. k_mitsu look up from their maybe-a-bit-too-serious conversation .. imposing themselves before them with hands on hips, or arms folded, .. with glass-eyed determination, stands the (0000). arrayed in all their splendor in white bodysuits with black stenciled letters on chests indicating their identities, the superheroes make it known with just their very presence that the game is up.
01: (00)
06.: eventually the reverberations stop.
05: (00)
03: (00)
04: (00)
02: ha ha ha motherfucker. we've got you now!
4 official boys .. girls stand in waiting to clean up the inevitable mess from the mayhem, both nervous .. excited, .. afraid afraid afraid .. triumphant .. bold .. conquering. ganba-fucking-rre yo!
k_mitsu .. u_mitsu run away as quick as they can yelling behind them
u_mitsu .. k_mitsu: yahh! freedom .. justice shall always prevail over tyranny!

throwing caution to the wind, which is blowing somewhat northeasternly, giving caution's trajectory a slight left hook.
k_mitsu: fuck, i fucking shanked it.
u_mitsu: oh fuck!
hä says, in inguinal discomfort, having pulled a muscle in här haste. .. limping as hä runs hä silently swears that if hä ever gets här hands on a nice copy of "(0000)" hä'll sit down comfortably .. read it someday.

paub: the wound is ok .. the cure wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. i always check before the bandage comes off, though. no patience. it would have to be a lot worse to manifest the difference. a fine way to tell how things will play out is to simply multiply the plurality of conflicts by the plurality of egos .. voila, you arrive at a fairly accurate estimate of what kind of job it's going to be. dr. c. suggests that i rest for a couple of weeks but hä's a pansy. at this point nothing could erase my own self-created depiction of my own courage in the face of adversity. i wouldn't call it fictiveness if i end up following through on it. it's all a matter of context .. framing just like phideyuki(ii) says. u_huisa doesn't believe this at all. hä may also represent härself as something else, though. this persona that i've invented for this particular job is useful because it's hardcore .. unstoppable. it's a prime example of the advantage of invention .. functions as a misdirection for the less attentive. this particular disguise for a time belonged to this customs officer down in (00) i used to know before i appropriated the burden of it off här hands. one could consider it a reciprocal favor. are you the barer of hidden identities? i think you are .. that's why i've made this particular house-call.
(0000_00): perhaps.
paub: you might as well help us. to what we have to offer there is nothing to add.
glasses getting a little bit fogged up but really having a fun-as-fuck time (0000_00) pokes around at the dirt with här spade. (0000_00) .. endre have got a decent chunk of history between them, having served in the archetype corps together, .. (00) comes over every sunday to help with the gardening. they'd been talking about putting this garden in for years but only a few months ago put the plan into action. before that the backyard was just nothing more than dirt .. rocks .. some old concrete left over from whatever was built there before. really endre got the place on the cheap, quite a find for what hä was looking for, because it was dilapidated .. out in (00_00). no one was really moving out there then anyway, but now it's starting to get a nice pretty suburban artificiality to it. paub loves to give them shit for it, though. här idea of luxury .. comfort is a bit different, having spent half här life on the lam. (0000_00) won't admit it but hä finds the circles on här skirt kind of disturbing.
endre .. dora's underground submerged house is abstract in form .. made of carbonaceous white argillite so it devours the warm air with a passion with its white phoebe-esque contours. the neighbor's wife, they have noticed from occasionally looking in the adjoining backyard, is an unusually large .. rounded woman, a full 6 feet .. 8 inches in height, .. hä is fond of sunbathing out on the patio. a real beauty. with dark eyes .. frantic disordered hair, .. hä wears large blockish black glasses real square-fashion .. a white bathing suit with pink, blue, .. red mini-carnations, .. when it gets too hot hä jumps into the pool from the diving board .. it almost breaks under här weight.

(0000_00): it was a problem of theoretical physics originally. there was the math problem .. the ancient query of walking over bridges without retracing one's steps. maria took me to visit the grave of i. .. on här headstone it mentions it. people are always talking about här but i can't figure out half of it. it seems hä thought you could have your cake .. eat it too. on my birthday i sometimes have my cake .. eat it, too, but no other times. the invention of topology laid to rest a lot of those problems. do you know who phideyuki is?
paub: the persona of concealed variables.
(0000_00): yeah, only hä's not fake, hä's real. it was a fucking set-up all along .. rhideyuki fucked härself right into it.
paub: what are talking about? not fake? real? that's crazy-talk (0000_00).
(0000_00): you ever heard of a little thing called cryogenics? you think (?) can come up with the (__) mapping just like that, snap-of-här-fingers-like, but can't manage a little petty-thief life-extension technology? use your head you dumb broad. (?) knew what hä'd produced .. wasn't myopic enough to just hand it over without putting certain plans into effect. hä knew hä'd have to steal it back when the moment was right but that wouldn't be for generations. so through the use of cross-cutting magnetic fields hä set här brain up in a stasis-equilibrium of negative-positive entropy .. waited. meanwhile hä manipulated a bunch of pansy-(00) mathematicians to set up a new identity for här to step into when the plan had ripened to fruition, complete with social security number .. robot-body .. all. phideyuki, babe. but at the last minute everything got fucked. the uramaki-ch. was a mole all along. i hate that little bitch of a boy more than anyone i know. rhideyuki invited dr. o. to come take a look at the (__) mapping, which everybody knows was clearly against the god-damn fucking rules, but rhideyuki never did give a damn for the rules anyway, always trying to find some shit-faced for-crying-out-loud loop-hole. so dr. o. brings little drummerboy the uramaki-ch. supposedly just tagging along .. bam fucking bam next thing you know rhideyuki .. dr. o. are out cold .. the book is in the hands of the god-damn wankers themselves.
paub: but i don't get it, dr. o. had the u. not the mapping.
(0000_00): they're the same thing, that's the point. i-thought-you-knew.
paub: so, then, how did dr. o. end up with it again?
(0000_00): that, my friend, is an entirely whole separate report to itself.

(* the report (0000_00) mentions hasn't been written but if it were it would almost certainly have a scene much like the following, except, by way of slight deviations, there would be more profanity, more humor, .. the occasional outburst of violence, maybe a stand-off. o. would be dr. o. .. r. would be the uramaki-ch. .. 00, who doesn't show up in this excerpt but who is a somewhat important character, nevertheless, would be the u. case. the big climactic scene would go down a little slower, but that would be balanced out by a little extra quickness in the initial exposition. somewhere in the 3rd act an unexpected visit by a previously unmentioned character would be thrown in. .. instead of philosophy the reader would probably encounter a great deal of higher mathematics. then, in the end, they all die heroically.)

paub: do you know who the monster is? there is always a monster.
(0000_00): no, who is it? what is it?
paub: i don't know either, i'm just saying you might want to fucking think about fucking finding out. it'd probably be a pretty fucking good idea.
the clear plastic surfaces of the house make their way around the still-forming garden in intriguing patterns. 5 white chairs .. a clear plastic table with bouquets of ewered mini-carnations drset on top of it are laid out in preparation for the reception. paub looks at the petals of the poppies .. grimaces.
(0000_00): from what i hear, though i haven't checked up on this, the uramaki-ch. faked här own death .. then ran off to (00_00), thinking that if anyone were to look for här there they'd be in for quite a surprise. when dr. o. finally tracked här down it can't have been pretty.
paub: yeah well, to fuck a setsu is nice. to fuck a toku is nicer. but to fuck a shigi is oh-so-choice.
.. saying so hä kisses här fingers.
paub: anyway, why do you do it?
(0000_00): it's something to do.
paub: would you put an end to it if you could?
(0000_00): yes, i suppose.

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